Friday, February 06, 2004
Dating Etiquettes For Dummies
Picked up your copy of Dating Tips For Idiots, haven’t you? Fabulous. Now, read on as the one and only JaS (who has NEVER gone on a date before) present all the Do’s and Dont’s of the dating world…
Top Five Tips For Her
1. Dress in your sexiest (NOT sluttiest). Guys love a great looking girl. Don’t show up like Ah Lain and put him off at first sight.
2. Be gentle, not intimidating. He’s supposed to be the “protector”, not you. Allow him that little illusion.
3. No eyeing of other guys. How would you feel if he kept leering at every girl in sight?!
4. Thank him for paying. Make him feel that you are worth all those calls the bank is going to make.
5. Don’t gossip to friends about the date. Trust me, the more it spreads, the juicer it gets.
Top Five Tips For Him
1. Dress smartly. Don’t be an absolute embarrassment to her. She’ll NEVER let you live it down.
2. Show up punctually. Better still, earlier. Never make the girl wait.
3. Pay for everything. No dude, your eyes are not deceiving you. EVERYTHING.
4. Entertain her. With jokes that are actually funny. But no gross gags or toilet humor. Especially when you’re eating!
5. Snap out of dreamland. Why go out with her in the first place if you keep thinking about that other babe a loser like you will never get?
Top Five Tips For All (Chicks, dudes, geeks, aliens… whatever)
1. Remember your dining etiquette. This is NOT a food flying contest. Reserve food fights for parties (at any house but your own).
2. Switch off that handphone. You are on a real life date. Not MobileCupid.
3. Intelligent dates required. If I wanted someone who agrees with me ALL the time, I’ll date a parrot.
4. No swearing. Unless you’re exchanging marriage vows.
5. Don’t make a move if he/she is not comfortable with it. That makes it sexual harassment.
So there you have it, The Do’s and Dont’s Of Dating For Complete Morons by the (still dateless) JaS.
NOW…
Find that hunk/babe of your dreams and snag him/her! Yeah baby!
Top Five Tips For Her
1. Dress in your sexiest (NOT sluttiest). Guys love a great looking girl. Don’t show up like Ah Lain and put him off at first sight.
2. Be gentle, not intimidating. He’s supposed to be the “protector”, not you. Allow him that little illusion.
3. No eyeing of other guys. How would you feel if he kept leering at every girl in sight?!
4. Thank him for paying. Make him feel that you are worth all those calls the bank is going to make.
5. Don’t gossip to friends about the date. Trust me, the more it spreads, the juicer it gets.
Top Five Tips For Him
1. Dress smartly. Don’t be an absolute embarrassment to her. She’ll NEVER let you live it down.
2. Show up punctually. Better still, earlier. Never make the girl wait.
3. Pay for everything. No dude, your eyes are not deceiving you. EVERYTHING.
4. Entertain her. With jokes that are actually funny. But no gross gags or toilet humor. Especially when you’re eating!
5. Snap out of dreamland. Why go out with her in the first place if you keep thinking about that other babe a loser like you will never get?
Top Five Tips For All (Chicks, dudes, geeks, aliens… whatever)
1. Remember your dining etiquette. This is NOT a food flying contest. Reserve food fights for parties (at any house but your own).
2. Switch off that handphone. You are on a real life date. Not MobileCupid.
3. Intelligent dates required. If I wanted someone who agrees with me ALL the time, I’ll date a parrot.
4. No swearing. Unless you’re exchanging marriage vows.
5. Don’t make a move if he/she is not comfortable with it. That makes it sexual harassment.
So there you have it, The Do’s and Dont’s Of Dating For Complete Morons by the (still dateless) JaS.
NOW…
Find that hunk/babe of your dreams and snag him/her! Yeah baby!
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